Stuck in the TARDIS with You (Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel)

(disclaimer: I don't know offhand if the Doctor was ever in danger of destroying ancient Rome. I needed the rhyme)


Well I don't know why I came here tonight,

I got the feeling that something ain't right,

I'm so scared that we'll get lost out in space,

And I'm wondering where you got that new face,

Oods to the left of me,

Daleks to the right, here I am,

Stuck in the TARDIS with you

　

Yes I'm stuck in the TARDIS with you,

And I'm wondering what it is I should do,

It's so hard to keep these secrets I know,

and I'm longing for some real Christmas snow,

Boe to the left of me, angels to the right,

Here I am, stuck in the TARDIS with you

　

Well you started out on Gallifrey,

you're sad that you're the last Time Lord,

Your assistants and companions

follow you through space and time

Allons-y, Allons-y

　

Trying to make some sense of it all,

But I can see that it makes no sense at all,

It's much bigger inside your police box,

and I want to cause a bad paradox

Cats to the left of me, Silence to the right,

Here I am, stuck in the TARDIS with you

　

Well you started out on Gallifrey

You stopped the Time War by yourself

And your friends, they're counting shadows,

You regenerate and say,

Allons-y, allons-y

　

Well I don't know why we came to the moon,

I got the feeling it's gonna hatch soon,

I'm so scared that we'll destroy ancient Rome,

And I'm wondering how I'll ever get home,

Veils to the left of me,

Sky fish to the right, here I am,

Stuck in the TARDIS with you,

Yes I'm stuck in the TARDIS with you,

Stuck in the TARDIS with you, here I am stuck in the TARDIS with you

Opportunities (Let's Kill Adolf Hitler) (Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys)

(I'm not generally the biggest fan of the Eleventh Doctor, but I quite enjoyed the episode Let's Kill Hitler, and Mels' line "You've got a time machine, I've got a gun; let's kill Hitler" had me humming Pet Shop Boys all day. Yes, I know, I'm a total nerd.)


I've got a gun, you've got a box

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

You've got a TARDIS, I've got a gun

Let's kill Adolf


I've had enough of scheming and messing around with jerks

My car is in a field, I'm afraid it doesn't work

I'm looking for a Doctor, to kill him is my aim

I'll answer your question, if you'll tell me your name


I've got a gun, you've got a box

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

You've got a TARDIS, I've got a gun

Let's kill Adolf Hitler


You can tell I'm educated, the Silence trained me well

An archaeologist, I'm locked up in a cell

I can handle any sonic, choose the perfect time

If you've got the police box, I have got the crime


Oh, there's a lot of opportunities

If you know when to take them, you know?

There's a lot of opportunities

If there aren't, you can make them

Make or break them


I've got a gun, you've got a box

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

Let's kill Adolf

Hitler


Now you're poisoned by my lipstick, from the Judas trees

I'll sacrifice my lives, now let's synch our diaries

I'm looking for a Doctor, regardless of how long

it takes. I'll marry him, because I'm River Song


Let's

(Got a gun)

Kill

(Got a TARDIS)

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

(Ooh Hitler)

(Let's)

You've got a box

(Kill)


I've got a gun

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

(Ooh Hitler)

I've got a gun

(Got a gun)

You've got a box

(Got a box)

Let's kill Adolf Hitler

(Ooh Hitler)

Hitler

Making Radium (On the Radio - Donna Summer)

(Because, many historical anachronisms notwithstanding, I like to believe that Marie and Pierre Curie celebrated their Nobel Prize in Physics with a Donna Summer dance party. And yes, I know the prize wasn't technically for making radium, but more for the discovery of and work with radiation and that the Radium Girls weren't happening around that time. Don't think I don't care and obsess over scientific accuracy; I do, but sometimes a little bit of inaccuracy fits the song better.)


Someone won the Nobel Prize for making radium

And they'll get a medal made of gold

They must have overlooked my contributions and experiments

They said the laureates

were Pierre and Becquerel


Whoa You were mad, complained to them, and so they added me

Now I'll get a Nobel medal too

We can't go there in person; we're too busy working here in Pare-ee

But they're celebrating us, in Sweden for


making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa oh oh oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh


Now, now

Don't it kinda strike you sad when you hear our work

is being used to make all the watch faces glow

The girls who paint them ingest the radium, and they get sick

It causes pain and anemia, death and woe


Whoa, oh, yeah, yeah

And it made me feel proud when I heard you say

You couldn't find the elements by yourself

And now in my heart I know radiation's making me sick

But they're celebrating us, in Sweden for


making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa oh oh

making Radium


If you think that love can't be found making radium

Well come right in you may find an isotope

'Cause now I'm sitting here with my daughter and her Nobel Prize

They're celebrating us, in Sweden for


making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa, oh, oh

making Radium

Whoa oh oh

making Radium  

Last Sunday Night (Last Friday Night - Katy Perry)

(spoilers for The Walking Dead season 6 finale.)


90 minute Walking Dead

Lucille bashing in a head

Blood is all over the lens

Many people think it's Glenn's

Eeny Meeny Moe

This is such a violent show

Family lined up on their knees

This finale didn't please


Pictures of last week analyzed online to death

Oh well

It's a cliffhanger and it made me hold my breath

Damn


Last Sunday night

Carol's injured like we thought

Morgan finally took some shots

Watched his pretty pony trot


Last Sunday night

Yeah they tried a lot of roads

And their confidence erodes

During this whole episode


Last Sunday night

One of their skulls has been marked

Monologuing in the dark

Kind of loving Negan's snark


Last Sunday night

Yeah I think he broke a skull

But at least it wasn't dull-ull

ooh-ohh


This Sunday night

Fear The Walking Dead

This Sunday night

Fear The Walking Dead


Can't wait for the big reveal

Have to know who met Lucille

Point of view from in the truck

Enid's in a closet, stuck

Eugene got captured again

Father Gabe's a trusted friend?

Walkers chained up in a row

Maggie's sick; we got to go
(repeat ad infinitum)

Supreme Court Justices (Is She Really Going Out with Him - Joe Jackson)

(So, with Justice Scalia's passing, the chorus of this song is out of date, but this is how I memorized the Supreme Court Justices in order of appointment. Yes, I'm a huge nerd. You should hear me sing the moons of Jupiter to the tune of Drops of Jupiter. Not even kidding.)



Pretty plaintiffs out walking with attorneys down First Street

We're in session; got the Constitution to uphold

Look over there

(Where?)

There, there's a Justice that we used to know

She's got a Medal of Freedom now or so we're told


There's Scalia and there's Kennedy,

And there's Thomas and there's Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

And there's Breyer, Roberts, Alito,

And then there's Sotomayor,

And finally there's Supreme Court Justice Kagen


Tonight's the night we deliver the decisions on First street

I wear my robe and I kid myself, I look real smooth

Look over there

(Where?)

There goes O'Connor with her new law clerk

They say your votes don't count for much

And so there goes your proof


There's Scalia and there's Kennedy,

And there's Thomas and there's Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

And there's Breyer, Roberts, Alito,

And then there's Sotomayor,

And finally there's Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Kagen


But if "nays" could kill

There's a bill there that is marked down as dead

'Cause I've had my fill

Listen you, take the plea from her head

Because we nine are very fine

Hey, hey, hey


There's Scalia and there's Kennedy,

And there's Thomas and there's Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

And there's Breyer, Roberts, Alito,

And then there's Sotomayor,

And finally there's Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Kagen

Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Supreme Court Justice Kagen

Agrabah (Africa - Toto)

(Fun fact: This was almost a Star Wars parody named "Dagobah.")


I hear Abu chattering tonight

But she hears only whispers of archaic old traditions

We'll take a midnight carpet flight

I've made a wish to be a prince via magical transitions

I found a genie along the way

Hoping to find a lamp for an old man who was Jafar in disguise

He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry Al, she's waiting there for you"


It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you

There's nothing that a bad guy named Jafar could ever do

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

Gonna take some time to show the girl a whole new world


Iago schemes all through the night

As he grows greedy, longing for some power in his feathered hands

I know that I must do what's right

As sure as the Cave of Wonders rises like a tiger above the Agrabah sands

The lamp was hidden deep inside, among gold and jewels and treasure hoards


It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

There's nothing that a bad guy named Jafar could ever do

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

Gonna take some time to show the girl a whole new world


Hurry Al, she's waiting there for you


It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

There's nothing that a bad guy named Jafar could ever do

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

(I bless the sands )

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

(I bless the sands

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

I bless the sands down in Agrabah

(Ah, gonna take the time)

Gonna take some time to free the genie from his lamp

With a Girl Named River (Proud Mary - Credence Clearwater Revival)

(Because I'm still mad they cancelled it, here's the plot to the pilot episode of Firefly. I could have made some better rhymes by making references to other episodes, but I really wanted to keep it to the pilot.)


Left a good job back on Shadow

Fought 'gainst the Alliance in Serenity

And I never lost one minute of sleepin'

Worryin' 'bout the Earth that used to be


We'll rule over this land,

and we will call it This Land

Fleeing, fleeing, with a girl named River


Stole a lot of crates for Badger

then tried to unload them on Persephone

Badger wouldn't buy them, so we'll go to Whitefall

and sell 'em all to Patience; yes, she once shot me


Dobson stopped our flyin'

With him, we're not complyin'

Opened, that crate, met a girl named River

Opened, that crate, met a girl named River


Almost got caught by some Reavers

after we unloaded Badger's stolen hoard,

then pilot Hoban Washburne pulled a Crazy Ivan

and we escaped with River and Simon on board


You can't take the sky, an'

Serenity's still flyin'

Flyin', flyin', with a girl named River

Flyin', flyin', with a girl named River


Flyin', flyin', with a girl named River

Flyin', flyin', with a girl named River

Flyin', flyin', with a girl named River